She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think my fart just growled at me.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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