I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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