the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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