This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
