You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
