I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
