Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize