That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
