So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Randomize