I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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