What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize