Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
