Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
