i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
