Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
