Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Randomize
