Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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