You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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