He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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