So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
