I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
