i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
