Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
