don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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