tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
