It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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