We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
