i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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