oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
