All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize