My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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