You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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