Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk

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  (330): when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk http://tfl.nu/57qd
  Replies (7) Good night (1757) Bad night (1927)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash

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  (704): happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash http://tfl.nu/ibz5
  Replies (16) Good night (2544) Bad night (633)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I skipped work to stalk him.

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  (414): I skipped work to stalk him. http://tfl.nu/vhpg
  Replies (17) Good night (880) Bad night (3355)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?

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  (905): Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray? http://tfl.nu/uvnt
  Replies (32) Good night (4714) Bad night (1321)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.

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  (647): if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are. http://tfl.nu/2i80
  Replies (6) Good night (5035) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.

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  (602): So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw. http://tfl.nu/cazb
  Replies (19) Good night (3949) Bad night (727)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.

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  (443): I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network. http://tfl.nu/hbga
  Replies (27) Good night (4518) Bad night (2870)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.

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  (601): It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed. http://tfl.nu/yhbt
  Replies (15) Good night (1293) Bad night (5555)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight

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  (210): Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight http://tfl.nu/kopz
  Replies (14) Good night (1238) Bad night (4243)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression

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  (703): the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression http://tfl.nu/ti0p
  Replies (30) Good night (1219) Bad night (3784)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.

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  (217): I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister. http://tfl.nu/65yp
  Replies (8) Good night (6879) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song

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  (740): Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song http://tfl.nu/pqc4
  Replies (20) Good night (4055) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.

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  (708): I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk. http://tfl.nu/8bkp
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (1465)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.

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  (905): Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now. http://tfl.nu/gjj1
  Replies (4) Good night (607) Bad night (2780)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.

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  (952): I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press. http://tfl.nu/04mj
  Replies (1) Good night (237) Bad night (440)

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