Texts From Last Night

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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night

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  (606): the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night http://tfl.nu/1i7p
  Replies (4) Good night (2128) Bad night (784)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

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  (206): Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry. http://tfl.nu/kkw8
  Replies (7) Good night (3950) Bad night (857)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.

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  (301): just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play. http://tfl.nu/cpw3
  Replies (20) Good night (4280) Bad night (847)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?

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  (917): giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong? http://tfl.nu/9q3v
  Replies (172) Good night (5221) Bad night (17351)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.

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  (240): It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me. http://tfl.nu/ei1k
  Replies (19) Good night (1760) Bad night (4003)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me

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  (713): So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me http://tfl.nu/r4q8
  Replies (12) Good night (1229) Bad night (7151)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music

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  (206): And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music http://tfl.nu/tzqo
  Replies (7) Good night (2936) Bad night (1441)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...

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  (775): Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right... http://tfl.nu/dr5k
  Replies (5) Good night (602) Bad night (1306)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday

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  (262): The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday http://tfl.nu/kdkl
  Replies (3) Good night (1408) Bad night (601)
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  (805): View more from California

  There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.

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  (805): There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight. http://tfl.nu/4wk1
  Replies (6) Good night (571) Bad night (997)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together

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  (816): First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman. (540): Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together http://tfl.nu/87tf
  Replies (3) Good night (1090) Bad night (500)
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  (650): View more from California

  He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.

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  (650): He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse. http://tfl.nu/0nh4
  Replies (1) Good night (959) Bad night (486)
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  (650): View more from California

  Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S

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  (650): Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S http://tfl.nu/kv3h
  Replies (3) Good night (788) Bad night (443)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  All's fair in love and war. and tinder.

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  (574): All's fair in love and war. and tinder. http://tfl.nu/9qeo
  Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (376)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups

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  (610): Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups http://tfl.nu/pbun
  Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (326)

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