Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?

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  (405): why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after? http://tfl.nu/ai6n
  Replies (45) Good night (1145) Bad night (5299)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.

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  (678): Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again. http://tfl.nu/y1d0
  Replies (32) Good night (1267) Bad night (6169)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.

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  (918): Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building. http://tfl.nu/yoz8
  Replies (44) Good night (6059) Bad night (730)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Hm. I declare blue a flavor.

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  (843): Hm. I declare blue a flavor. http://tfl.nu/1q5w
  Replies (58) Good night (6751) Bad night (715)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?

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  (215): Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence? http://tfl.nu/hkha
  Replies (23) Good night (1748) Bad night (5141)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.

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  (847): There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car. http://tfl.nu/95qt
  Replies (40) Good night (1269) Bad night (8288)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  His hands were made for my vagina.

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  (405): His hands were made for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/uiyy
  Replies (16) Good night (7403) Bad night (923)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.

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  (609): promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant. http://tfl.nu/llpo
  Replies (5) Good night (1938) Bad night (1381)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever

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  (605): So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever http://tfl.nu/ken4
  Replies (16) Good night (3613) Bad night (1092)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore

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  (208): Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore http://tfl.nu/7jsm
  Replies (11) Good night (3722) Bad night (912)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.

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  (740): Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am. http://tfl.nu/1jzg
  Replies (1) Good night (1379) Bad night (603)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.

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  (518): I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave. http://tfl.nu/ne75
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (853)
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  (716): View more from New York

  and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt

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  (716): and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt http://tfl.nu/qzo4
  Replies (12) Good night (635) Bad night (1277)
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  (760): View more from California

  No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.

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  (760): No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity. http://tfl.nu/loos
  Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (803)
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  (949): View more from California

  "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.

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  (949): "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment. http://tfl.nu/f4dn
  Replies (0) Good night (506) Bad night (186)

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