my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?