yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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