it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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