i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
