If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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