The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
