I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
