They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
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