this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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