Whod you bang
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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