I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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