And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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