imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
