I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
