Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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