What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
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Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
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we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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