She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize