sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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