Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
