She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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