reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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