Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
