were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
