I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
