Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.

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(559): View more from California

you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you

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(972): View more from Texas

It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old

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(907): View more from Alaska

Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.

(1-907): View more from Alaska

Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.

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(206): View more from Washington

Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.

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