so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
