How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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