Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
