I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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